• Texas Manners: Come On, Ya’ll!

    Here in the south, and especially here in Texas, we are known for being friendly, “neighborly” many call it. We wave while rolling down the road; we help our neighbor when he needs us; we take care of each other’s children, and we’re quick to show up with a cake or a casserole when someone is sick or has lost a loved one.

    However….when it comes to having the good manners to let someone know whether we will be attending their party…well, we are rude, ill-mannered, and boorish to be totally honest. We also do not seem to care that we cause the hosts major anxiety and major bucks by our rudeness. If you haven’t a clue what I’m talking about, then you haven’t hosted a major party. Here are a couple of examples.

    For years, I hosted an Easter party for children. I spent major bucks so that the kiddos were not just hunting eggs but also stuffed animals, books, jewelry, and other small prizes. Of course, we also played games and had refreshments.

    Obviously, I desperately needed to know how many were coming so that I knew how much to buy as well as how much to cook so I sent out my invitations with an RSVP attached.

    One year I received three responses so I guessed and prepared for twenty…fifty-four attended. It would have been a total disaster had I not been hosting another party for which I had actually already bought the ingredients for refreshments. I was able to make a dash for the kitchen and throw some things together. However, I came very close to disaster…purely because of rudeness.

    Much, much worse than this was one of my friends who was trying to pull off the Texas wedding of the year. She did it all correctly and on the wedding day she had…149…count them…149 no responses!  And that was after providing the self-addressed cards and postage to every single person.

    She had absolutely no idea how many seats to provide and worse than that, she was providing a full meal for the reception. A full meal with 149 no responses! So what did she do? She paid the caterer for food for people that she had no idea were coming…but, what if they did?

    She also paid for place settings and the work that went into setting them up because she did not want to be embarrassed by not having enough places ready for her guests…guests that I have to assume have no idea how rude they are.

    So, come on, ya’ll!  Texans care about each other, and there is just no reason to cause our hosts this type of stress and money. RSVP means that someone REALLY needs to know if you wanna come to their party and if you do, they want to spend the money to cook, etc. for you. BUT, if you aren’t coming, they will just keep their money in their pocket so let ‘em know!

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    About Fredda Jones

    Fredda Davis Jones was raised “in the country” in Comanche County and learned very early that creativity and innovation are traits that can flourish even in small-town Texas and that with enough effort, indeed nothing is impossible, including being married to the same man for over 40 years! Rickey and Fredda have 2 children, 5 grandchildren, and a crazy life that includes sitting in the bleachers several times a week. The rest of her time is spent creating great content for texansunited.com and marketing small-town Texas.
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    12 Responses to Texas Manners: Come On, Ya’ll!

        • Fredda Jones Fredda Jones says:

          I totally understand. I was paying a fortune per plate for a wedding supper quite a few years ago, and I offended people by insisting that I had to know. I think anyone who has been there understands and those who haven’t just don’t.

          I’m so sorry you had trouble being able to read.

    1. Glenys Mathis says:

      I agree that people should respond to RSVP but our case one time, we received an invite to a wedding in Dallas. The problem was the invite was received on the day of the wedding & I felt terrible that we couldn’t have respond sooner. I’m rather sure the people mailed it in time but the post office was late in delivering it.

      • Fredda Jones Fredda Jones says:

        This is the honest 100% truth: In the past 2 months I did not receive my wedding invitation (thankfully, they called me) in the mail, and I received not one but TWO shower invitations (both for people I love and needed to attend) after the fact! And I’ll be very honest and tell you that I do not at all believe that it had one thing to do with our local PO.

      • Fredda Jones Fredda Jones says:

        That exact same thing happened to me! I felt horrible when I realized the people must think I am terribly rude.

    2. Dennis Marken says:

      It has something to do with all those people up North coming to Texas for jobs. They are very angry people and rude up North keeps you running with the in-crowd.

    3. Lavoy says:

      We now live in Oregon and have for 25 years. I discovered that people here send thank you notes
      after coming to your home for a dinner party and some bring a hostess gift! I had never
      seen or known this was customary! In Texas a simple “thank you, we had a great time” when leaving was sufficient. It may be the custom there now………. I was taught to RSVP when it was requested, however. That was just good manners.

    4. Sam Vineyard says:

      The way to teach these people is to NOT let them in when they do not RSVP!! Keep a list of the ones that do send in the RSVP and only let them attend. They will soon learn manners that way.

      • Fredda Jones Fredda Jones says:

        I’ve actually thought that we should adopt the English idea of having to present your invitation to the doorman in order to be admitted! Of course, here in small-town Texas that would be considered very, very rude.

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