I am supposed to be writing a little story about Christmas recipes right now. Instead, I am struggling to keep my lunch down. I’m struggling to keep the tears from falling. I’m struggling to understand mankind.
I just heard about the school shooting in Newtown, Connecticut. And, by now, I’m sure you’ve heard about it, too. And, so, you can see why maybe I’ve lost my drive, my inspiration, to write something cute and quippy about Christmas recipes. Because, frankly, I could not care any less about snowman cupcakes at the moment.
This is truly unfathomable. There are so many emotions that are coursing through my charged up veins right now. Disgust. Sadness. Brokenness. Confusion. Anger. Serious anger. I am heartbroken. I am a mother to elementary school children, yes. I am also just human. Plain human.
The dark reality of this world, when faced with it like this, very abruptly slaps me out of my blissful ignorance. Prior to this, I’m feeling sorry for myself because I can’t afford to buy my kids everything on their wish lists or any other number of suddenly lame “problems” I have. Big whoop!
Yes, world, you succeeded in grabbing me by my shoulders and very violently shaking me into the realization that I AM BLESSED. For Pete’s sake, I have my children! And, I am desperate to wrap my arms around them, bury my nose in their hair, inhale deeply, and try to force every ounce of love that I feel for them into their consciousness.
Suddenly, Christmas, the holiday season, every single day, every single hour, minute, or second becomes so much less about gifts and doing and decorating and whatever and so much more about true, deep-felt communication of love. Does your family know, truly know, that you love them, adore them, cherish them? Because this world is unpredictable.
The most valuable thing that you can give your family this holiday season and any season is your time, or a genuine connection, or a pure, raw, unadulterated expression of your love for them… a selfless version of those things. Remember that, strive for that.
Today, I am left feeling confused and bewildered on many fronts. But, of one thing I am certain… it is an urgent necessity that our children know 100% without doubt that we love them more than words.
My heavy, aching heart goes out to you all, children, parents, residence of Newtown, CT.