Many Things About Tomorrow, I Don’t Seem To Understand

But I Know Who Holds Tomorrow, And I Know Who Holds My Hand

Aren’t you glad that we can’t see into the future? God planned it just right because I know that I would completely miss the beauty of today if I understood what tomorrow was going to bring.

On this day, we were at a conference in Los Angeles and someone snapped a pretty fuzzy picture of me walking down the street. Know what my biggest problem was on that day…besides walking miles in those stiletto heels we wore in the 1980s? I was fat, at least in my own mind. Julie was only six weeks old, but with Dusty and Mandy I had been back to my normal self long before they were that age, and I was struggling with finding things to wear.

The dress I am wearing in this photo is one that Mandy picked for me. Why she loved it, I never really understood, but on the day pictured here I had not even a hint that I would be wearing that dress to her funeral in a few short weeks. It wasn’t black, but it was the dress she loved.

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I turned to Rickey yesterday and reminded him how very blessed we are that we lost our child long ago and are not just today having to figure out how we are going to continue living. I suppose it was hearing the broken voice of Charlie Woods, father of Tyrone Woods who lost his life in Benghazi, that prompted the thought, but it did remind me that sometimes we have to look very hard to find a glimmer of light or hope, if you will.

The thing I would leave you with today is that it is TODAY. It’s not that other day; you’ve made it past THAT day! According to where you are on your journey through grief, this may not seem like much, but I can promise you that there will come a day when it feels like the most important thing in your life.

Very seldom do I go through a day without breathing a prayer of thanksgiving that I am living TODAY and not THAT day. Hang in there!

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